SNACK TIME: November Morsels

The 40th birthday surprise of a lifetime + all-weather coats with big pockets + Amsterdam recs

Nov 25, 2025

Welcome to Snack Time! A monthly series that takes a break from the regularly scheduled munch meal planning to share some of the best things I’ve consumed this past month (edible and otherwise).

If you are my friend, you know that April Fools’ Day is my favorite holiday. I love the mischief, I love the long and short cons, I love the element of surprise.

For my 40^th birthday, I experienced only the best part of this karma revisited unto me.

My husband told me we were going to Amsterdam for the weekend to see Lady Gaga’s Mayhem tour. We lived there for the summer before my munch was born and it’s a place that holds a lot of memories.

When we got to the airport, my best friend from high school and her husband were waiting at the Airtrain. I was so excited and surprised, because I had texted her for the month leading up to this trip saying: I wish you were coming!

For the next 12 hours, I thought it was just the four of us. Being the alpha planner I am, I even booked last minute lunch reservations for 4. Then we checked into our hotel and went upstairs to get some breakfast. The elevator door opened and one of my other best friends from a completely different walk of life was standing on the landing.

I thought to myself. Oh. My. God.

You think you know the people closest to you. And then one day you fly to Amsterdam and realize that they are all LIARS!

For the next 48 hours, people kept popping up on canals, jumping out from behind buildings, showing up at museums and meals. Just when I thought there couldn’t possibly be more friends who flew across an ocean to be there, another couple would appear.

The reel I created from the footage went viral. It was surreal and overwhelming, and each surprise contained so much love and joy. I can’t believe I managed not to cry the entire weekend.

The comments on that post boil down to three things: 1) you should marry your husband again just to make sure! and 2) how have you made it to 40 with that many best friends? I don’t have 18 friends, let alone 18 that would fly to Europe.

That last one made me feel so damn lucky, and also a little sad. Because this is the trajectory of adulthood.

I often talk to my pseudo therapist (my astrologer!) about how I’ve been particularly blessed on the friendship front to attract such a badass, kismet group of people. Part of being an only child is that my friendships have always taken up an outsized importance in my sense of self and value system. But what I talk about with my real therapist is how *not accidental* it is to still have these friendships by midlife. It takes time and work.

I want to dedicate a longer essay to this, because I think it’s an important thing to reckon with. But this is all to say that I am not special or more loved than anyone else. Friendship, like any relationship, is a give and take. I see my birthday weekend as a beautiful return on investment for everything I’ve put into this sphere over the years—joyfully so!

As for the nuts and bolts of our trip, Charlie designed an epic itinerary that left lots of room for people to choose their own adventure during the day and then gather for meals. Here’s a taste of what we did:

Day One: Breakfast at the hotel (Soho House), wandering the nine streets (if only to gather more surprises!), group lunch at Jansz, pre-dinner Van Gogh Museum, dinner at De Kas (the most gorgeous green house restaurant in the world!).
Day Two: More shopping and wandering, Rijksmuseum, canal boat tour, and dinner at Brothers Hartering (a small cozy spot that makes the best prime rib), a drunk stroll through the red light district (to put life in perspective), drinks at Soho House (dear reader, I went to sleep instead).
Day Three: Biking around Westerpark and Vondelpark (the only thing I wanted to do and 5 people were game), lunch at Plantage, pre-concert sauna at the hotel, then LADY GAGA!!! Our dinner was concert fries and it was perfect.

It was an epic weekend and I still can’t believe it happened. I will never get over it, and will try to think of this experience every time my husband leaves one of the kitchen cabinet doors standing wide open!

Happy munching!

Phoebe

WHAT YOU MISSED

ME TIME

(Everything I’m watching and reading)

Relay (Movie): Of the epic group of friends who came to Amsterdam, I’d say at least half watched this movie on their flight and were pleasantly diverted. It has all the ingredients of a great thriller and felt like a medium-trashy version of Michael Clayton.

Down Cemetery Road (TV): If you haven’t noticed from past Morsels, we love a British procedural in this family. After finishing the latest Slow Horses, which seems to double down on the scatological humor more and more every season (no complaints here!), we turned to this one from the same producers. It’s not quite as tidy, but Emma Thompson can do no wrong and I love her in the role of brassy PI. We haven’t finished the season so can’t speak to how they land the plane.

The Beast in Me (TV): I spent last month’s morsels revealing my intense girl crush on Keri Russell, so it should come as no surprise that I would welcome a threesome with her and Matthew Rhys any day. He stars in this new series alongside Claire Danes, who delivers some next level chin quivers, as a Robert Durst-esque real estate tycoon accused of killing his wife. It’s binge-able, unsettling and stylishly directed.

The Ten Year Affair (Book): A friend recommended this book to me and said that the author billed it as “sucking and fucking in the Hudson Valley.” Needless to say, I was sold on the horny factor and have also enjoyed its musings on millennial parenthood. That said, it’s not as quietly beautiful and devastating as last month’s book rec, which I can’t stop thinking about!

MOM ESSENTIALS OF THE MONTH

My go-to travel outfit

Since we shared Jennifer Cook’s travel outfit recs this month, I thought I’d add my own! This is what I wore on my night flight to Amsterdam and also what I wore to South Carolina for Thanksgiving.

Ultra comfy pleated jeans: As a proud millennial, I’m thrilled that GAP has completely overhauled their jean game. Their cuts are SO GOOD right now. I have been living in the barrel leg style, but these pleated high waisted ones are the perfect mix of comfy and chic. The black ones can be dressed up for a dinner but are soft enough that they doubled as pajamas on my night flight. My second go-to is this style from Faherty, which I own in two colors and I’ve influenced a lot of people to buy.

The best city sneakers for walking: In addition to being a fantastic 40^th birthday planner, my husband knows his sneakers. After cycling through many many brands and models, he has proclaimed these ones to be the best. Since they also happen to be MUCH more attractive than most of his walking sneakers, I also bought a pair and second his declaration.

My favorite ribbed turtleneck: I used to be a J.Crew tissue turtleneck girlie, but after a few years they started to develop holes, so I switched to these Everlane ones and haven’t looked back.

Extra warm cashmere sweater or this wool blend half-zip: Winter packing if you’re only taking a carry on is tricky with bulky sweaters, so I try to wear my heaviest one on the plane. I also get extremely cold, so this kills two birds.

All weather jacket with large pockets: My favorite is an old Outerknown army green trench that is perfect for layering (I bring a Uniqlo light weight puffer zip for underneath), but for this trip I brought an Alex Mill jacket that is reversible, which meant a little extra variety! A heavier Barbour, or this knock-off with a similar waxy finish would also be great options.

MONTHLY ASK

After all the travel this past month, we are NOT going anywhere exciting for xmas / New Years this year. Instead, we are driving up to my family’s on Martha’s Vineyard and going to have a cozy, relaxing holiday. In theory, at least. Which brings me to this month’s ask: how does one have a relaxing winter holiday with a toddler?? I’d love some ideas on indoor activities and ways to entertain her that allows us a little R&R.

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