Munch Menu V.10

And some thoughts on FAFO (F*ck Around and Find Out) parenting

I’ve talked to a lot of mom friends about feeling left behind by the move towards Dr. Becky-style gentle parenting.

As can happen from generation to generation, it is most certainly a reaction to the way most millennials were raised. Like many of my friends, I grew up in a time when spanking (or worse) was the norm and not a reason to call CPS. There was a heavy emphasis on physical repercussions and the general understanding, as a result, that if you were experiencing some big feelings, it was best to push them down.

(For the record, my parents only spanked me for a brief period, before they found out I was the type of child who learned to spank back…)

So much of gentle parenting is a step in the right direction.

And then I watch someone’s child throwing rocks at another kid at the playground without a word from their parent and it rings my alarm bells that we’ve gone a few steps too far.

Enter: the backlash. A new method that has recently been coined Fuck Around and Find Out parenting.

Like most people, I fall somewhere in the middle. I have the Good Inside App and found the scripts for potty training helpful. I get a real kick every time my daughter takes a dump on the potty and says: “I listened to my body mama!”

But I also deeply believe in the need for boundaries, in the power of the word no, and in the occasional bribe. My child would not have listened to her body on day one of potty training if not for the promise of an M&M. If I had to do it over again and choose between Dr. Becky’s scripts and the candy, I’d choose the candy every time.

I bring this up not just because it’s been in the news cycle (I enjoyed this Substack on the subject, and also this one from a while back on gentle parenting), but because re-finding our routine after travel has required a lot more boundaries and bribes than usual.

Vacation was a bit of a free-for-all in the munch menu department. We realized things were getting out of hand when my child didn’t even want a croissant. She’d had so many of her favorite treats that it wasn’t even a treat anymore.

When we got home, she’d eaten so much sugar that all of her usual dinner options seemed boring and unsatisfying by comparison.

A little over a week post-trip we are starting to find our bearings again, but I’ve had to bring it back to basics a little bit without too many new items introduced. It’s just the hits over here. And the promise of some fruit for dessert when she won’t even eat the hits without it.

This week’s menu is similarly tried and true, with a lot of elements you may have seen on past menus, my (just sweet enough) foolproof everything sauce, and some frozen dumplings to boot.

Tell me about your thoughts on the FAFO-gentle parenting paradigm in the comments. Chime in! And I would LOVE if you could do me a solid and heart this post at the bottom – it helps more people find my work!

Happy munching!

Phoebe

---

---

THE GAME PLAN

Store-Bought Spotlight

(elements you can buy)

Teriyaki Tofu: Premarinated organic tofu is one of my munch menu secret weapons for adding protein. You simply slice or dice – no cooking necessary!

Brown Rice & Millet Ramen: Lotus Foods makes my favorite alt-noodles from interesting ancient grains and heirloom rice varieties. Their black rice ramen is also delicious and a fun way to shake things up on your munch’s plate in the name of SSBD (same same but different).

Polenta: Premade rounds of polenta are a huge time saver. I’m not brand loyal, so use whatever you can find at the store. Simply cut into circles (or fries!) and bake at 400 degrees F until crispy. Alternatively, you can pan fry the rounds as a “quickie” the night of.

Gotham Greens Pesto: This is by far my favorite store bought pesto brand, usually found in the refrigerated section. I prefer the flavor of their vegan version, which doesn’t have cheese. Since this sauce is being used to bake chicken, it doesn’t have to be the freshest – use whatever is convenient. Though if you feel like it, make this one from scratch! Whatever you don’t use up on your chicken can be repurposed for pasta (or frozen for future munch menus). PRO TIP: freeze cubes of store bought sauces in silicone ice cube trays and start a freezer baggie labeled “pasta sauces.”

Frozen Dumplings: I’ve heard great things about Trader Joe’s brands from fellow moms, but since we are mostly GF in our household, I tend to stock my freezer with Feel Good Foods brand of dumplings and potstickers. Despite being obsessed with this bedtime book, my munch hasn’t fully adopted dumplings as a meal. The nice thing about frozen options though is that you can keep trying week after week without much labor!

P.S. Have you been enjoying Munch Menus as a free subscriber? It takes me many many hours to put together these game plans every week. If you love them, it’s a very reasonable $1.50 per week if you do the annual option. A small price to pay for someone to do all the planning for you!

---

Meal Prep

(elements you can make in advance)

Sesame Everything Sauce: A fan favorite from the Munch Menu archives! It takes 5 minutes to throw together, but also keeps forever, so you might as well make it ahead.

Pesto Chicken Thighs: Coat chicken thighs with your favorite pesto (I like this one) and bake at 425 for 25 minutes, until tender.

Mushroom-Lentil Burgers: This week’s paid subscriber recipe! I made these to stock for school lunches down the road, but that doesn’t mean you can’t throw them into the dinner rotation every now and then!

Cornmeal Eggplant Fries: Cut one small eggplant into matchsticks and toss with 2 tablespoons olive oil and ½ teaspoon salt in a large bowl. Add ¼ cup of cornmeal and toss to coat. Arrange on a parchment-lined baking sheet and bake at 425 degrees F for 20 minutes, or until the fries are golden brown on the bottom. Flip and return for 5 minutes until crispy.

---

Quickies

(non-recipe recipes you can cook the night or day of)

Baked Salmon: There’s a recipe called “Mother-in-Law Salmon” in my favorite kid cookbook (from fellow substacker Jenna Helwig) that I’ll paraphrase for you: Top 1 to 2 fillets salmon with an equal mix of mayo and Dijon mustard. Stir in any chopped herb and 1 clove minced garlic. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes until cooked through.

Shitake “Chips”: Thinly slice shitake mushrooms (as thin as possible). Place a small cast iron skillet over a medium-high flame and coat with olive oil. Pan fry the mushrooms until golden brown and crispy on both sides. Remove to a plate and season with salt. You’ll want 2 mushrooms per munch. Alternatively, you can make shitake “bacon” with this recipe.

Polenta Cakes: Buy pre-made polenta rounds and cut into slices, fries, or shapes. Pan fry or bake at 400 degrees F until crispy (20 minutes)!

Munch Menu Version 10

158KB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

---

FAMILY MEAL IDEAS FOR WEEKENDS

If you’re someone who goes the family dinner route, don’t worry, I still got you! Every week I’ll add two ideas from my archives or the internet that have been kid-approved in my house. You can make them on the weekends or rotate them into a munch menu.

Foolproof Baked Swordfish Steak with Lemony Greek Potatoes: This sheet pan dinner has a little something for everyone and is easy to customize. If your munch isn’t into fish, hooray, more for you. They can just eat the potatoes. The herb sauce can be served on the side. And all you need to round out this blue plate special are some steamed green beans, blistered sugar snap peas, or a green salad.

David Lebovitz’s Pasta alla Norma: During the summer months, I love making this Sicilian eggplant pasta dish. I was thrilled when I saw David created a recipe for it, since I usually just freestyle by pan-frying the eggplant wedges and making a simple tomato sauce for the rigatoni. If your munch doesn’t like eggplant, they can eat around it. If you want more protein, throw in some chopped chicken or white beans (you’re using them in this week’s menu anyway!).

---

My latest cookbook is your culinary and dietary road map to reclaim your favorite comfort foods without the consequences (complete with 130 anti-inflammatory gluten free recipes…that are also family friendly!). Ina Garten says “I love this book!”—listen to the queen and order your copy!